Lately I've been waking up in the middle of the night and feeling alert and ready for my day ... at, you know, 2:30am, like this morning. Waking up in the middle of the night is not anything new for me - I've been a bad sleeper since I was 13 (possibly even longer). But feeling alert at 2am: this is new. I think this energy stems from the existential crisis I've been going through lately. You know the one: Holy Shit! I'm Going To Die One Day And Be A Lump In The Ground Or Burning Eternally Because I Chose Cremation And I Won't Think Or Feel Or BE Anymore And Oh Crap I Have So Much To Do And Especially I've Been A Shitty Mom.
Right? Right.
So I try to go back to sleep and I try to be tired and do all the meditation-y things you're supposed to do, like talk to all your body parts, starting with your head and eventually reaching your toes... "I'm relaxed. I'm going back to sleep. I need rest." Etc. But fuck it, I'm awake and right now I'm totally psyched that I can be! Talk to me again around 8pm tonight, HalloFuckingWeen, and we'll see how psyched I am.
Also my head itches like crazy. This has been going on for weeks. I think I'm suddenly allergic to the shampoo I've been using for years. I know that sounds ridiculous but I have a very good friend who suddenly became allergic to oranges, and then peaches, in his late 20s. So it can happen, people. Don't tell me I have lice. A) my husband has looked and he sees nothing (commentary on his vision?) and 2) I really just can't handle that.
I'm awake, y'all! Let's have a day!
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